bucket list...

summer bucket list 2013...
01) have a disney marathon
02) stay up and watch the sun set and rise
03) have christmas in summer
04) make a build-a-bear
05) read 10+ books
06) got to 5 theme parks
07) got to Brighton
08) fly over the grand canyon
09) go to hollywood
10) go to a zoo/aquarium
11) learn to bake 5 things
12) got to vegas
13) make a tie-dye top
14) have a picnic
15) go on a bike ride
16) grow flowers
17) camp in garden
18) go to the beach
19) make a secret handshake
20) have an american pie marathon
21) go on a long car journey
22) cook a meal for someone
23) go on holiday with a friend
24) learn a song on the piano
25) go to costa/starbucks
26) paint something
27) go to London
28) be in a show
29) have a midnight feast
30) have a waterfight
31) make a music video
32) make a scrapbook
33) make a summer playlist
34) go stargazing
35) learn 50 useless facts
36) have a paint fight
37) host a summer party
38) get a temporary tattoo
39) try a different countries cuisine
40) paint something on a bedroom wall
41) walk 6 miles
42) do something fro charity
43) make a sandcastle
44) have a mother-daughter day
45) have a daddy-daughter day
46) have a BBQ
47) go roller-blading
48) take photos underwater
49) have a healthy day
50) buy a lottery ticket
51) go swimming in clothes
52) see at least 5 films at the cinema
53) go to a funfair
54) see a theatre show
55) go to san francisco
56) stay out in the rain
57) go to a sport match
58) customise a pair of shoes
59) make a DIY top
60) keep a journal
61) go rock climbing
62) go on a long flight
63) dip-dye hair
64) go to a craft fair
65) make a new friend
66) build a sheet fort
67) work experience
68) play 5 sports
69) get a happy meal
70) take photos in a photo booth
71) go to an american diner
72) collect every receipt
73) fill in a colouring book
74) have a pamper night
75) complete DS/PS3 game
76) help the community
77) make a family tree
78) do some yoga
79) write a blog
80) go to the IMAX cinema
81) get someone to give you a makeover
82) go a day without a phone
83) learn 5 different braids
84) go bowling
85) have a girls night in
86) create a smoothie
87) go on a treasure hunt
88) try 10 american foods
89) 24 hours without technology
90) make a vlog
91) visit grandparents
92) go to a national park
93) throw a surprise party for someone
94) make a quote book
95) get a giant millies cookie
96) make a bet with someone
97) have a 90's day
98) make summer 2013 the best one yet
(gotta end on a cheesy note)

summer plans

summer is fast approaching, even though that may not be obvious looking at our british weather, but never the less in 2 weeks time i can officially say bye to school for another 2 months and finally be free.
looking back its fair to say I've wasted many precious summer days wrapped up in bed or lounged in front of the telly but not this summer... this summer I'm determined to live everyday to the fullest (cheesy i know)
wether its something crazy like road tripping round California or basic like a bike ride with my bestie i hereby decree that i shall make this the best summer imaginable
so what do you say...wanna come along for the ride?

being self conscious...

Being self conscious is something that at one point or another in their life everybody faces. It's a horrible feeling were you feel out of place and as if there is something wrong with you.

There have many times in my life when I look at a celebrity, a friend, a stranger and think 

"why can't i be like them"

It's natural instinct, everyone will always want what they cant have and that goes right back to the primitive. 

Looking back on the past 3 years of my life, anyone would think that I didn't exist...

• I never ever ever ever ever ever ever used to let ANYONE take a photo of me and if someone did i would go to great lengths to delete that photo.
• I didn't used to go out with my friends if they were meeting up with people i didn't know because I was scared that they would not like me.
• I used to refuse to go out in public with my parents in case someone saw me and took the mic out of me.
• If I saw someone i knew when i was out, even a close friend, i would do all i could to avoid them.

I have never been happy with the way I look and always have a fear that people hated me. Typing this is actually making me realise how much i missed out just because i didn't feel good about myself.

It's a horrible feeling, when you don't think your good enough. Especially when it's about your looks because when it comes down to it you will look like you for your whole life and if you can't be happy  in yourself well quite frankly you'll never be happy with anything.

Now that I'm older i've gotten better, I let people take photos of me (though i'm not quite at that stage when i can just pull a face and laugh about my purposeful ugliness later)
There are still 1,000,001 things I would change about my body but i'm starting to look for those 1,000,002 things I like about it.

I still worry though, about the most stupid of things. I'm only 16 and the other day I had a started to worry that I might die alone...stupid I know!!

Learning to love yourself when your mind is filled with doubts is hard I know but there are things to do to make yourself feel better

• spend as much time with friends and family as possible
• if someone complements you accept it and don't instantly deny it in your head 
• have a vain moment and take some photos of yourself till you find a look that makes you feel beautiful/handsome...then you will know how to look good in all pictures
• if someone does take a bad picture of you, laugh about it!!
• every time you find something wrong with yourself, find 2 things you love
• if your having a down day, don't worry everyone does, then do whatever makes you feel better wether its going for a jog or having a long soak in the bath
• you never have to do anything you don't want to so if you don't feel comfortable then leave
• don't listen to anything spiteful anyone ever says, its just them trying to hide their own self consciousness
• remember and always think to yourself that you are an amazing person
• SMILE :)

Don't hold yourself back from being the person you know you can be, oh gosh I sound like a cheesy motivational speaker but it's true.

you are gorgeous ;)